She Lied to see his SMILE

She lied to him that she is okay when things turn out its way, she lied that she could handle it alone, she lied that she doesn't cry at night.. and she lied that she is a strong girlfriend, so that he doesn't have to worry about her, doesn't have to worry if she is living with depression of not being loved..

But, why did she lie?

Because she knows he will never ever have time to listen to her dramatic stories, she knows he is too busy with his life, his goals, career, business plans, study, his people and his friends.. She tried to check her name in his prioritize list, but she couldn't find it.. Then, she realized she is not important as what she thought, she is not a type of girl who he wants to be with in his up and down in life. Most importantly, because she knows that even if she tries to do such things, still it will never ever make sense. Honestly, she really wants to share her moments of happiness and sadness with him, because she want to feel the loved from him. Then she realized that all she wants in her own way of being in a relationship does not fit with his needs.

She couldn't tell how many times she told him that she wishes to have some times together as a couple, which is quality time for them to understand each other even more. Just because all she needs just his efforts and time instead of those expensive gifts, yeah she is different from some girls out there. But, from day to day she felt like she is waiting for the ship at the airport. She kills herself with her own expectations because she always and still believe that miracle does happen. She still believes that one day her love will be valued, will paid off in a return of his endlessly love and efforts either. But, she doesn't know how long she is able to wait for this imagination to become real, because at some points she feels tired of one-sided love, of being the one who always tried hard to make things work.

So, why does she love him?

There is no reasons to be told, she just loves him with all his imperfects and with all his flaws. She sees the real him while the others just overlooked his goodness. She loves him just for who he is, even if her eyes full of tears sometimes, but her thoughts and heart never ever want to give up on this love. Overall, she lied to him because she knows he won't care how her days going on, because he doesn't want to spend his day with her..., but she knows that he is happy with that way, and so she chose to lie to see his smiles.