It is Okay to get lost sometimes, make sure to find the right way back.

Someone once asked me, "Can you tell me who are you?" Suddenly I couldn't find any better answer to respond because I know It wasn't just the way to introduce my name or my backgrounds, yet to express who I really am, and what I really want in my life. I was blown away while I realized that I lost concentrate to respond, I felt so empty in that moment.

Admitted it, it comes to a point where I don't know where to go, what to do, who I really wanna be with, what is my real life goals, and what is the real happiness mean to me..?!? Things just very very complicated, which I can't find any better word to express.

I used to think that I'm so lucky, because to me everything just fall into places since I am a hard-working student at university, plus I have a good career with suitable money to support myself at the same time, especially I have a clear life goals with a specific planing. Honestly, I thought I am in the process to achieve my dream. I really enjoyed with everything I have. Then, one day things turned out its way, I began to understand the feeling of being lost. I lost all my concentrations, my hopes, my motivations... I dropped out my duty, both of workplace and school. I felt useless, felt unnoticeable, felt isolated, felt abundant, especially I felt tired of faking a smile and pretending to be okay.

Everything around me turned to darkness, the floor where I stood right there turned to a wooden boat, a very tiny boat which is in the middle of the ocean while the wind kept blowing till I could feel the cold from inside out. I was drowning. I was asking for a hand to save me, but I couldn't find one. I saw only me, myself and the darkness.

Suddenly there was a little slightly light appeared, while I realized I lost a way in my daily comfort zone, yet what I found was another new world which I have never allowed myself in. I then started to get to know new people from diverse backgrounds and cultures, I once learned to accompany myself to every place, so that I could feel satisfied of being with my own self and space. I found a little inner peace of mine while I decided to be alive with myself rather than kept waiting people to give me oxygen.

I once give myself a try with every opportunity that come across me, even if it is about solo trip, self-challenge, or even prepare a backpack and off for a journey with nature. I start to be an open-minded girl to the new world to see how it does look like, to understand many people from different places and cultures, especially I allow myself to fail in any challenges because I know the moment I push myself harder to step into those fearful situations, I allow myself to grow a little stronger. Now I still trying to discover the real me even after a long days of surviving.

So I hope you understand that it is okay to be lost at some point of your life, you are a human being so it is okay to be broken, if you want to cry then just cry it out. If you want to escape from the reality, then go ahead and make it happen whether it is about camping, climbing or sky diving. If you want to explore the world, find a way and experience it. Life is a choice, if you choose to be happy then you will be! :)